Zen Approach To Annoying People

Annoying People Often Reflect Ourselves

In a recent political story here in the UK a member of a political party was caught investing a considerable amount of  his time and resources to plotting against the party leader.  He ended up having to resign and left with the parting shot that the leadership had become too middle of the road and had abandoned its principles.


Whether his criticism of his former colleagues was justified, I couldn't help noticing that his actions matched closely what he claimed to be objecting to.  Surely if you have principles you pursue them selflessly rather than engaging in jockeying for position?   I think this illustrates that we often find most annoying in other people that which we are, perhaps unconsciously, most unhappy about in ourselves.

This was brought home to me some years ago when somebody joined the company I worked for from a much larger company.  He was a bit dismissive about his new employment and his new workmates - me included.  He was contemptuous of my management style.  That bothered me not a jot.  He hinted that my technical knowledge was lacking.  I smirked inwardly knowing that it was only a matter of time before he would realise just what a smart cookie I was.  The thing that got under my skin though, was when he condescendingly pointed out that I was a bit disorganised.  How dare he!  I was furious with the stuck up little lickspittle and his poxy but spotless filofax and frankly perverted habit of arriving at meetings five minutes before they started.  Bastard.

On reflection I realised that my inner rage - I luckily managed to keep it to myself - was simply a reflection that I was a bit chaotic and it was letting me down.  It didn't come easily, but it was the spur to a journey in search of a better organised life.  I am still working on it but the benefits I have got from it have been enormous.

Annoying people have a lot to teach us that more amiable and less jarring people don't.  There is a lot to be said for getting thoroughly pissed off by some obnoxious arsehole.  Use them as a unique opportunity to learn stuff that might otherwise stay buried.

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