I want to sort out the stuffs (family-related, work-related, net addiction-related, procrastination-related ones) in my life because I feel as if waves were over me while I am sinking, drowning deeper and deeper in the infinite, bottom-less sea of life.
I am a teacher, I am single living at home (no problem with parents as I live separated from them and we respect each other's space and time) and I am addicted to the internet that leads to procrastination.My room is in a mess, I can hardly find my files and things I need. I also postpone writing lesson plans (identify exercises, etc for upcoming lessons) then I am worried the other day knowing it will be hard to teach without a plan.Yet, I rather choose to go online...even if I know it is bad and I am playing with losing my work as well if I don't stop it now somehow.
This internet addiction has its bad effects on my relationship with my family, too. I get angry when one comes in my room to talk to me... but of course I don't really do any serious stuff on-line then.
I procrastinate in everything except for surfing the net...What I do online is: chat on MSN, Skype, check emails constantly, am on Facebook, watch/listen to youtube videos, read forums and blogs...and such. I know it is not okay, the way I deal with people and stuffs in my life now.
I am tired of all this. Feel drained and empty. Still, I keep being onlineHow should I get myself and my life organized???
Pieces of practical advice are needed that I can put into practice. Thanks!
Well I recognised a lot in that, and I have a feeling I would quickly revert to exactly the same state if I didn't maintain a constant state of preparedness against it. Even now, I have lapses like I have had today at work when I must have burnt at least 2 hours, and certainly an hour and a half in exactly the activities moimoi describes.
First off, why do so many of us not just moimoi and myself behave like this? And what is it about the internet that is just so addictive that we sometimes risk our very livelihoods? In my case, if I worked every day like I did today I am sure my career would suffer and that would pretty soon start showing up in my pay packet. I think the fundamental reason is in our evolutionary history and how it is shaped our brains.
First of all, we are social creatures. We crave being in with friends and socialising because that is the behaviour that kept us alive when we lived in the harsh natural environment that surrounded us before we learnt how to tame it. So chatting to people we know (or even ones we don't know) on MSN is very appealing. In fact it replicates the behaviour we used to need to get the support that made the difference between surviving a winter or dying of starvation. Our conscious minds might know otherwise, but deep down we believe that chatting to friends is just about the most important thing we can do.
The other thing about our evolutionary past is that we lived in constant danger. Any rustle in the bushes triggered off a very direct appeal to what is a our real life purpose - avoiding becoming lunch. Our brains have a whole region devoted to this highly important purpose and it is able to override everything else. And indeed so it should. If the building you are in catches fire, you don't need to analyse your ideal strategy. You just need to get out quick. And this behaviour is hard wired into you.
We don't live in a jungle any more but we still have the rapid response to danger impulse and quite rightly its commands take priority. E-mail alerts are one very good proxy for danger signals from the environment. I think the desire to scout around and make sure you know what you have around you comes from the same place too. So the millions of YouTube videos might be mostly rubbish, but they still exert a powerful fascination to a brain programmed to make sure there are no hidden dangers. You have to summon huge reservoirs of will power to fight off the brain's innate reactions.
So I think it is entirely understandable that we have a job avoiding pouring hours into our laptops when we should be doing something more productive. The question is, what to do about it?
First, let's live in the real world. Procrastination is a fact of life for many of us. It isn't a character defect or a sign of some failure to plan our lives properly or resonate with our true life's purpose or any other such mumbo jumbo. It is simply the mismatch between how our brains are structured and how we have ended up living. There are two important implications. The first is it isn't our fault, so blame and guilt are pointless and in fact make things worse. The second is that the situation isn't going to change, so there is no 'solution' in the sense of some some simple fix that will make it all right. Procrastination is not going to go away. All we can do is come up with a strategy to cope with it, or more likely a set of strategies. And these work will vary from person and even within our own lives depending on what we are trying to achieve.
I remain at constant risk of all forms of procrastination and I have far from solved it. But I have made some progress. Let me share a few things that work for me.
1. Get up early. I set my alarm for just before six and I am often up and functioning by 6.30am. This doesn't give me any more time - that is set by the rotation of the Earth and it doesn't give me any more energy - that is down to my physiology. But it does enable me to get on with things that are important without distractions. And the fact that I have to leave for work by 8.30am gives a non-arbitary non-negotiable deadline. So I have a daily example of disciplined use of time.
2. Only turn the computer on to do something specific. My current regime is not to turn it on until 9.00pm unless I need to use it for something.
3. Plan on paper. Having a plan is a great way to overcome procrastination. But I have found that every computer based system I have ever tried has either not worked in the first place or has collapsed very quickly. The temptation to use online tools is great because they usually look good, are quick to update and the process of exploring them is fun. If it weren't for the fact that they never work I would love them.
4. Plan in detail, but don't make a detailed plan. I currently use a combination of planning tools and approaches. At work a tickle file of the 43 folders variety has been a huge asset for many years now. It keeps things on track really nicely. Every attempt to use the same technique in my home life and for other projects has failed. I am currently trialling a mini-tickler based on cards I can carry with me easily. But my main tool is simply a hard backed journal where I write summaries of what I have on and keep lists of actions. I write down a lot, but I try to keep my to do lists dead short. At any one time you can only work on about 3 things. The trick is to identify them and work on them. The order in which the rest of the list gets tackled isn't important. Having a list is important because if you know everything is on the list it frees up brain space for what you are actually doing.
5. Avoid distractions. Literally. Set your screen saver to kick in thirty seconds if you have to have your computer on. Have as little on your desk as you can that isn't directly related to what you are working on. Don't have the television on when you are working on something.
6. Pause. There will be unavoidable external distractions and most deadly of all internal distractions. These can't be ignored and can be difficult to resist. In the last couple of weeks I have discovered that if I simply pause for a few seconds, often my conscious mind can get control again. It isn't foolproof- especially when I am tired - but so far it is making a big difference.
Procrastination is truly the thief of time, and like other thieves you have to be on your guard against it all the time. And sometimes it will win. But it doesn't have to beat you every time.
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